Some bad English to make you laugh

Its a forwarded article in my inbox. Good for a read, and a hearty laughter

An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, Please grant me half day casual leave"

A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.

Another leave letter written to Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.

A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today"

A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".

A covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Letter writing:
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."